Here’s why so many women love this simple technique.
People love naming things when it comes to sex: positions, orientation, kinks. And that can be a good thing, because it helps people communicate exactly what they’re looking for in bed.
Allow us to introduce the Kivin Method, AKA sideways cunnilingus, AKA something women have loved for a long time, and because it now has a name, is easier to talk about and ask for. Simply put, the Kivin Method is going down on your lady from the side — and, spoiler alert, it feels awesome.
“I was actually unaware that this had a name, but have been prescribing it to my couples’ clients who are looking to spice up their sex lives for a long time,” says Dr. Holly Richmond, psychologist and certified sex therapist. “Side lying cunnilingus is nothing new. If it makes it easier for us to talk about, that’s fantastic.”
If a quick Google search is any indication, the Kivin Method allegedly allows women to achieve orgasm faster — though arguably, faster orgasms shouldn’t be the ultimate goal of sex. An even better way to describe the benefits of the Kivin Method is that her orgasms will be stronger.
Who is Kivin, anyway?
Great question. The actual reason why the technique has been dubbed the Kivin Method is shrouded in mystery. Who is sex master Kivin? There are mentions of it in a 2003 Atlantic story, as well as on various sex websites, but so far we have yet to produce the birth certificate of Mr. Kivin, and have no idea where or how he conducted his research.
Okay, great, now tell me how to do the Kivin Method.
Now that you know a lot of women love it, we’ll tell you how to do it. The person giving the oral will be lying sideways, while the person receiving is on her back. Either side is fine, or, if you’re up for it, Richmond recommends trying both, since women almost always have more sensitivity on one side of their clit than the other.
Lying sideways allows your tongue to sweep across her clit and clitoral hood while applying pressure to the area between her vaginal opening and anus, AKA, the taint. “Just like with men, when a woman is nearing and reaching orgasm, you can feel pulsations in this area,” Richmond says. For many men, this is the green light that lets them know, “Hey, nice job.”
The Pleasure Mechanics podcast did an episode on the Kivin Method, in which they offered some tips for performing it. They recommend using a back-and-forth tongue stroke over the hood of the clitoris. When you partner is around, place your middle finger on the taint, AKA the “C point.” Here is where you’ll start to feel those pre-orgasmic pulsations. “Your finger doesn’t move at all,” Pleasure Mechanics says. “It stays still, because if you do move your finger, you may move her concentration from the clitoral hood to the perineum.”
The key here is reading her body to maintain tongue placement. And once you get going, it’s important to not stop — even after she climaxes. Stimulation after the initial orgasm can be incredibly intense and satisfying.
Some couples mix it up by having the woman on her back with her legs to her chest, and the man uses his arm to keep them pushed back. This is good if your partner prefers to be widely spread. Some women prefer to have their legs closer together, so the clit moves against the labia.
Is the Kivin Method the Holy Grail of oral sex?
“What I love about this position is that it is novel for many couples, and brings a new sensation to oral sex,” Richmond says, adding that most women report that it feels pleasurable, and that their partners have a full, sexy view, as well.
That said, “Every woman, every clitoris is unique, and for some this position creates too much sensitivity. Open communication is key to great sex, whichever positions you choose.”